So there comes a time in a girls life when she wears masks to get by in the world and compartmentalizes the different parts of herself on purpose. And there's other times when other's project masks on us, whether we like/agree with them or not. LA especially is a town, I think, that is mostly run by first impressions. Image is everything...literally. BE A NICHE or chance not being noticed at all. Which I gotta admit, being in my 30s now, I don't mind that at all. I've been dubbed a lot of different images by others. The aspiring actress, The casting director, The hostess with the most-est, that guy's girl who got away, that other guys crazy ex he got away from, the supportive friend, the flaky hippy chick, the over stretched producers assistant, the willful daughter, and the estranged California cousin. And in Acting, the working class victim or crazy girl from 2000-2005, the lesbian/bisexual from about 2004-2009, the druggie/stripper from 2010-present. In fact, I happen to be one casting director's go to junkie. I have been brought in straight to call backs after booking my first role with him as a junkie. Hence the first impression. And in the meantime, I am shooting reel to show my lighter comedic side. I'm a bit sugary and salty in real life and want to bring that to my "acting niche". But part of playing the game is making sure I'm letting that shine through when people meet me too.
Now in real life...here's the thing. I am a complex multifaceted person! I am a gemini, I am from the east coast, I grew up on the back of a Harley, I have a soft spot for musicians because my dad was one, I am highly emotionally expressive and need to release it either through art or calling someone out on their bullshit, I am very in tune with my inner child and she gets really excited about bubbles and butterflies and magic, I am a feminine lady with grace who shields a masculine sword. I will not ask you to change a light-bulb for me or even my tire I have AAA. My point is I can be your biggest cheerleader or your dark Angel of karma & lessons. So do not get attached the one version of me that you enjoy. Accept all of me or you will be disappointed. And I am willing to bet I am not the only one with this kind of request in life. Doesn't it suck when you feel misunderstood because of someone else's assumptions or judgments? I will be the first to admit I have judged others the same way. If you show me you are a drunk hot-mess the first time I meet you, you can easily be that forever in my eyes, unless I see other wise. If you lie to me and I catch it, because I always will, now I just assigned you the mask of not to be trusted. And if your awesome upon our first meeting, you will be awesome always, even if you have a bad day unless you turn into a d%*k. Just sayin'. haha.
So maybe we can all work on our judgements and assumptions of others and ourselves for that matter and allow each other the benefit of the doubt. It's a lesson I have been getting all year! Really all my life if I'm completely honest. And I was wayyyy better with acceptance when I was working at my Be Love hippy vegan restaurant. But alas, still a work in progress ya'll.
And this just in, I just got a call that I booked the Junkie girl role, yet again! Woot!
Here's to wearing the mask we choose just in time for Halloween!
xo-me
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