Malibu Days 9 & 10

Day 9 & 10 in Bu:

wow, I'm going backwards to catch up on the day to day and things that were only a week ago feel like light years ago! It's a trip how that can happen eh? I'd like to think it's because I am more in the moment these days, as opposed to short term memory less or early dementia! ekkk

LOTS of processing okay, so the show NIGHT! Facing the ex. Let's just say he got a bit more sideswiped than I assumed I'd be. He didn't know I was going to be dancing so it sent him down a little tail-spin. But it prompted an email, that turned into about 8 emails and four days of us going back and forth, creating stories and assumptions about the other, defending ourselves, taking ownerships, making apologies, facing the mirror looking back at us, and finally coming to the conclusion that we both want to the same thing to be understood, appreciated and loved. either in each others lives or at a distance to be determined but at least acknowledging the greatness in each other and not feel the hurt we have both been carrying around. How we were going to get there? Was space and perhaps more communication and stopping THE PISSING CONTEST!

And with that I'm acknowledging the big beautiful Ocean View from the balcony in Malibu! Thank you ocean for our HUGE pot to piss in, drink from, get nourished by, and feed our eyes with beauty and lungs with life!! It reminds me of an expression that I heard growing up. When feeling lack, we say (at least on the east coast) "I don't have a pot to piss in?!" So dig one, find one, make one, animals don't need pots! Why do we? Imagine if we all really walked around with our pissing pots?! Wouldn't that be strange and smelly!

DAY 10

My last "clearing letter" got a response, so made that call too! And wow! It's amazing what separation mentality and negitive assumptions can create in our worlds. This was a situation that if handled with love and trust from the beginning by all parties involved could have saved us all alot of pain, frustration, and misunderstanding. I finally took my power into my own hands, owned my shit, and offered to hold space, and what I came away with was love and acceptance for someone who I have been making wrong for 9 months without even knowing them because I thought they were making me wrong! Both from stories we heard from other people or made up to fill in the gaps. We never got to meet to find out for ourselves. WOW! Talk about eye openning. This person was actually very cool and lovely and I think she was pleasantly surprised that she got the same impression from me!

I remember there was a misty morning and a foggy night in the Malibu canyons a few days ago and I wanted to pay acknowledgment to that image because it made me reflect on the idea of the unknown, like there's something just beyond what we can see, either physically or by our limited perception. I feel like my eyes have been looking through new glasses the past few years and i just got a new prescription the past few months are are even better and I wondered still what was next? I have felt on another level I came full circle with some intentions I put out there and it was a time for new vision but what?! The mist and fog was there to remind me it will be revealed in due time the fog always lifts!

Yehhh, peeing, I mean seeing more clearly!
xo-me