Oh, joy I'm on a computer with internet....makes catch up sooooooo much easier. HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!! 2011, good things are happening I feel it. We are all shifting to our higher selves. Lots of lessons and turmoil and wounds being discovered in 2010, change and transformation from earth's weather patterns to break ups & engagements.
At any rate with the hustle and bustle of My last minute clearing & New Year's plans to celebrate I fell a little behind on blogging but I continued the work, glas to say. But I'd like to make a commitment to get to the workbook and exercises earlier in the day to really live with it instead of sleep with it.
With out further ado....
DAY NINE: Love & acceptance current
Acknowledge 2 events in Life that you don't trust as God's Perfect creation.
This was tough to sit with...because it's dredging up alot of past things that I have worked through and forgiven and see the light in now. So to find something in my present with that knowledge was tricky I really had to dig, which is great, that's why I'm doing this. To really be honest with myself! So I came to....
1. My Money Issues - which looks like scrapping by financially, making just enough to survive while ignoring some debts and loans. which feels really icky to admit at 31 when I know other people "look like" they have their shit together with Owning houses and having kids to support. That's my JUDGE.
2. My Worth & Purpose - I really should own myself more. Not be afraid to make requests, not feel like I don't have a right to ask for more money because of the hard work I do put in, to nuture all my creative and supportive talents, to fully be seen for my greatness, why hide those things, again my Judge - what if others can't handle my truth, what if I don't get the job, what if someone else Judges me....um, WHO CARES?! My Purpose is to be FULLY EXPRESSED AND IN LOVE WITH MYSELF FIRST! That's all we are here for. TO CREATE our life, To Be our Highest Version of ourselves, to learn and teach along the way, and to LOVE!!!!! It's starts inside, and then live with that love in every interaction, and when you meet, to quote my roomies mom "Beloved Special Someone" You choose them! You don't need them!
I trust my life and all of life as creators perfect expression now!
DAY TEN: Gratitude Guide
What's really cool about this day is I literally didn't get to it until bed time and realized I happened to naturally have a pull to did the exercise it was going to give me anyway.
This day happened to be NEW YEAR DAYS - I also happened to be a little hung over from the evening festivities, which also happened to be a bit syncronistic. I was invited by a new cute friend who works at EAST WEST Lounge in Weho, to drink for free and have fun with lovely gay men, which felt perfect for me and my single girlfriends not wanted any boy distractions coming into this year! The lounge was where Leading Ladies my film that's hitting festivals, had it's opening DIVA party this summer for OUTFEST. That's was a cool reminder about my ACTOR SELF coming out of finishing casting for a FEATURE that some actors thought I was Playing the LEAD ROLE, but that situation happened to show me I couldn't be fully seen with this particular person. - wow quite a tangent!
So back to my morning I wrote a gratitude list......I would learn later at 5am when my day ended, I would be asked to make a gratitude list haha PERFECT. So here it is.....
Gratitude up to 2011 @ 31 years old.
I am grateful for living in California, for having been in love, for experiencing breaks, acting, dancing, writing, casting, directing, learning guitar, healing and healing others, paying bills, making debt, clearing debt, learning new things in school and out, making friends, loosing friends, facing deaths, finding transformation, traveling north and south and east and west of this country, building a solid foundation, clearing out old patterns, experiencing new ways, Being in the moment, struggling with ego, having good sex, bad sex,and GREAT SEX, being treated bad and good, finding and owning my worth, developing my business side, seeing myself more clearing and others ass the truly are, out with the old in with the new, making everyday and day of gratitude, trust source to find the "right" way, not needing to force or pursued outcomes, knowing today is my day and it's all we ever really have, I am fulfilled in each moment for as long as they last, I love you, I love me, I love the ocean and the trees, I am thankful for breath and earth and each day I have to share myself and the experience with others, Thank you for the lessons 2010. We did alot of growing and changing together. Thank you for bringing me to a particular house randomly that became my beakin and symbol of hope and love consciousness and the potential of creative power which also brought me to gratitude attitude! And specifically Stacie for bringing me to westside and letting me use her car and feeding me healthier foods, Savi for showing my strength and worth, Athena for the perfect mirror of myself and the mutual support and understanding we share, Robin for helping and supporting my business and personal sanity and giving me the AMAZING reading with Dr. Carbone. And everyone else my family and friends and co-workers who have supported my with finacial payment for a job or service or with love, encouragement and understanding. To my parents for the creative gifts they handed down to me, the love & sacrifices they gave, the blood, cells and breath they created for me! I literally thank them for my LIFE! And mr. eckles, the thr roundabout cycles we danced to get me a step closer to my divine partner.
I go on the acknowledge myself for everything I am and I won't bore you with all of that, but would like to encourage you to do the same. It's a way I'm fully being present to owning myself, all my parts that make the whole, and not all are comfortable yet. ei, I am Beautiful, I am Adundant, I am Nicole Heather Dionne, I am Powerful, I am a Lover, I am a bitch in the best possible way, I am an artist, I am a sister....etc etc etc So I thank me for being all those things!
Why not put your attention on all that you are grateful for? If you want a blessed life be that you are blessed!
And a reminder that this work came to me from cafe Gratitude - their ABOUNDING RIVER WORKBOOK - Get one! And start your new year with a new YOU!
www.cafegratitude.com
BE LOVE
xo - me
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