So it's been a few good days since ending my 30 days. Mercury is back direct. And it shows! A casting job I was on hold for the past month literally went through officially the day mercury went direct and the day after my 30 days was done. Talk about clearing. I also had first read through of my new play.
So I sat down to revisit what exactly I was able to come away with after this new habit of focus and ME time. And the following is what I came away with. Not in any particular order.
Finished Acting Website
New post card designed
Network party
Finished creative visualization book
Organized all casting, acting, and life files
Updated casting website
Found my first manifestation journal from 2007
Roommate wrote the first episode for 30 girl Seeking
Brainstormed more characters for 30 girl Seeking
Stuck to the blog everyday, like I promised myself
Had some lessons and clearing to do, physically & emotionally
Created a project info sheet for my casting jobs
Differed my student loans
Booked a play (just before actually)
Made rent
Revisited a few books that give me inspiration
Sent out old postcards
Met my new manager
Saw a play
Got a free concert to Dave Matthews
House sat in Malibu
Looked at a couch - but not right
(Getting one from roomies mom in OCT)
Re-wrote resumes
Played guitar more
Danced and worked out a little more
Watched emmy's an realized I don't watch much TV, which is good for my soul but probably not too helpful for career
Created choreography for a music video
Saw the movie SWITCHED
Re-watched all 3 Pirates of the Carribeans
Re-watch Chocolat, Bruce Almighty, Pride and Prejudice, A few Faerytale Theaters, and I think I'm missing something
Had a visitor at my show making up for the time he missed
Volunteered for a Cafe Gratitude workshop
Updated my social networks
Read more of Life Launch book, Branding book, and Uta Hagen
Read a script for a feature film I might be casting
Got some cash work & extra work
Work/play with my goddess friend, who I always learn from
Talked to my Dad, and had a pretty clear talk.
Leading Ladies got into 3 more festivals!
I came up with 3 New really cool ideas on how I can create and serve
And was shown how intuitive I am sometimes, knowing I would see or hear from someone and then I did, or being pulled to call someone who was think of me, that kind of thing
And what has opened up for me since then....
Booked this commercial casting job!
Found 5 dollars 3 days in a row....10 cash and 5 in starbucks card
getting more recognition at my dance job, from boss and crowd...(thank you Mikey)
Just today was givin a certificate for a free starbucks coffee cause I helped a disabled man out of the store and an employee acknowledged that.
Realize I have a package to mail soon with some forgiveness attached as a final LETTING GO.
So as much as it seemed like not much was going on to further my Career...that's a WHOLE LOT to be going on. Perspective eh???
Thank you for going on the journey with me. Thank you for being LOVES in my life. And as I continue to discover my Authenticity in every moment and Strive to live up to my Highest Potential. I invite you to do the same. And let me start you off by telling you....I ACKNOWLEDGE YOU FOR YOUR GREATNESS & CREATIVITY & LOVE IN YOUR HEART, and I BELIEVE IN YOU!
Be love, Be Joy, Be the Light in the World!
xo-me
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Day 30 of 30 Days to Success - The End & Beginning!
Wow! I did it! We did it! Not sure exactly what I did yet....I might need to re-read all my blogs to see. haha Oh, man this not getting sleepy until 4am isn't very helpful, although I do seem to make the most progress on things in the evening. But not too conducive to functioning with the majority of the world.
So not much of a list again although have been at it all day & night with the 30 day deadline looming over me. I finished the organizing!!! YEH! one area of my apartment anyhow....the work area. I finally have all my acting materials together and casting materials together. I got life stuff separated as well as a folder called TO DO: filled with scripts to read, projects, tax and dba questions....I found out today I can't find my 2008 tax info...ekkk. Need that! So I must attack the few random boxes in my bedroom closet, hoping to discover it in there. But like last night, came across some interesting journals and photos.
What else??? Oh I decided to put away my old vision boards, with the exception of my spirit and love ones, because I need to replace them. My roomie and I created a vision board wall in the living room since that is where we spend most of our time, so I made a few for that wall but more geared towards creativity and career. So started pulling out some pictures from mags early today, and got out of the house to run errands. I hit T-Mobile to pay bill, the 99cent store, pavillions and CVS. Walking around my neighborhood took 4 hours!!! 4 HOURS!!!! I really need a bike with a basket, life would be a bit easier. BE GRATEFUL YOU HAVE A CAR PEOPLE! One good thing about walking is you can put attention to good use. I thought of a few good ideas, involving my craft and possible ways to make money & create community. That's all I'm saying for now. I've learnt to SHUT UP, and PUT UP!
So for my last day of my 30 days and retrograde accomplishments:
Cut out new vision board pics
Errands (4 hours!)
Stopped in store that was hiring
Finished organizing & finding a place for work & life stuff
Made a regular cardboard box, faux decorative! (yes, I made that term up)
Stapled Headshots & Resumes for manager
Oh, and have a free red round couch lined up! (thanks to the roomies mom)
I wish I had something more profoud to say or share on my last day...but I'm just feeling really ready for bed. Excited tomorrow to wake up out of RETROGRADE, with the Knowledge I FINISHED a Bunch of Stuff, and I have the first script reading for my new play. Tomorrow I should sit down and write out what I was able to accomplish in these 30 days in tangible terms anyway. It would be good for me to see that.
All right, I little more reading and to bed! Thank you for hanging in there with me, and encouraging and inspiring me along the way!
LOTS of LOVE and Blessings of ABUNDANCE your WAY!!!
Live Love Laugh
Dream Believe Create Receive
haha and perfect timing, cue music....
lalala la lala - lalala la lala - lalala lalala lalala
xo-me
So not much of a list again although have been at it all day & night with the 30 day deadline looming over me. I finished the organizing!!! YEH! one area of my apartment anyhow....the work area. I finally have all my acting materials together and casting materials together. I got life stuff separated as well as a folder called TO DO: filled with scripts to read, projects, tax and dba questions....I found out today I can't find my 2008 tax info...ekkk. Need that! So I must attack the few random boxes in my bedroom closet, hoping to discover it in there. But like last night, came across some interesting journals and photos.
What else??? Oh I decided to put away my old vision boards, with the exception of my spirit and love ones, because I need to replace them. My roomie and I created a vision board wall in the living room since that is where we spend most of our time, so I made a few for that wall but more geared towards creativity and career. So started pulling out some pictures from mags early today, and got out of the house to run errands. I hit T-Mobile to pay bill, the 99cent store, pavillions and CVS. Walking around my neighborhood took 4 hours!!! 4 HOURS!!!! I really need a bike with a basket, life would be a bit easier. BE GRATEFUL YOU HAVE A CAR PEOPLE! One good thing about walking is you can put attention to good use. I thought of a few good ideas, involving my craft and possible ways to make money & create community. That's all I'm saying for now. I've learnt to SHUT UP, and PUT UP!
So for my last day of my 30 days and retrograde accomplishments:
Cut out new vision board pics
Errands (4 hours!)
Stopped in store that was hiring
Finished organizing & finding a place for work & life stuff
Made a regular cardboard box, faux decorative! (yes, I made that term up)
Stapled Headshots & Resumes for manager
Oh, and have a free red round couch lined up! (thanks to the roomies mom)
I wish I had something more profoud to say or share on my last day...but I'm just feeling really ready for bed. Excited tomorrow to wake up out of RETROGRADE, with the Knowledge I FINISHED a Bunch of Stuff, and I have the first script reading for my new play. Tomorrow I should sit down and write out what I was able to accomplish in these 30 days in tangible terms anyway. It would be good for me to see that.
All right, I little more reading and to bed! Thank you for hanging in there with me, and encouraging and inspiring me along the way!
LOTS of LOVE and Blessings of ABUNDANCE your WAY!!!
Live Love Laugh
Dream Believe Create Receive
haha and perfect timing, cue music....
lalala la lala - lalala la lala - lalala lalala lalala
xo-me
Monday, September 13, 2010
Day 29 of 30 Days to Success! Only one more day!!!!
Ahhhhh, okay I might need another month! haha Actually, this has been pretty perfect, even though it didn't quite have the effect I was hoping and anticipating....yet. However, I know & trust EVERYTHING that has come in & out, is for a reason, and getting me in more alignment with my Purpose! (and cue a big of relief)
But it ain't over yet. I still got a good 24 hours.
I don't really have a list of things to share today. I pretty much spent the whole day organizing THE RANDOM SHIT. It was the first task I took on today cause I have been procrastinating on it, and it took all day, with some breaks. It's still not entirely done, but great progress made.
I got up around 11pm...coffee, emails, chatting with roomie, and then I hit the boxes. A friend came by to pick up a book he lent me. So we went for a walk close by to grab coffee & catch up for an hour or so. I was swimming in a sea of chaos in my living room, with papers, scripts, photos, and old mail spread about the floor. I welcomed the reason to escape it briefly.
Good talk. He's a very good actor & writer. When I shared the webisode idea with him, he turned into a flowing faucet of great ideas. Pouring all kinds of characters out, we could use. I laughed out loud, literally, a few times. So even when I tried to escape being productive, I ended out being productive! I LIKE THAT!
I came back to my boxes again, finding a few old things to reminisce over. Like, playbills, old headshots, and project ideas that were just seeds.
Later, my friend that I worked for yesterday came by to pay me, and we chatted a bit and got talking about Michael Jackson, he was like one of my first idols growing up. First make believe boyfriend for sure when I was five. haha So anyway, I bought up the part in THIS IS IT when he gets messed up over what looks like his ear bud, cause he couldn't hear right. And it looked like he had a little freak out, I thought that his insecurities were coming out. And she said (now I'm paraphrasing) "no he wasn't insecure, he was talking about his "inner ear". He was taught to sing & hear from that, and was surrounded by siblings that did the same, and if you listen to the singers they weren't singing from that place, that's why he wasn't hearing it, and as soon as he said something, that got deeper in their bodies and then they did - even though most of them didnt really know what he meant" - That is brilliant. I love that! The idea no truth of his attunement and awareness. It's beautiful, from her perspective. And here I was been fault finding and judgey. Gosh, thank goodess for mirrors eh?
This has been quite the journey of reflection, let me tell you! Well, I guess I have been. haha I really thought I wasn't a judgemental person. I know I have made HUGE strides, but their are still little seeds of that lingering. And this friend has been good about showing me that, The Cafe Gratitude Workshop showed me a lot when I became conscious of my inner dialoge while "listening", and seeing it when coming across other's who are much more actively judgey then I, and feeling how yucky it is the hear it. It's a relief to find the GOOD, to KNOW that no one is ever lacking. To know that I'm not lacking.
Because this 30 days took a different spin on me, and I didn't attract the things I wanted to attract, I could easily assume there is something wrong with me. But there's isn't. My eyes were open to what this shift was for. And the fact we subconsciously chose retrograde to do it, solidifies it for me. Cause after tomorrow, Mercury comes back direct and in alignment and I have myself in better alignment with myself. So it's pretty perfect!
OH! I almost fogot! Me and the roomie got all dressed up in crazy, fun, risky garmets to submit for a Rocky Horror scene somewhere, for something!
Now why can't I get to sleep before 4am again?
Until tomorrow,
xo-me
But it ain't over yet. I still got a good 24 hours.
I don't really have a list of things to share today. I pretty much spent the whole day organizing THE RANDOM SHIT. It was the first task I took on today cause I have been procrastinating on it, and it took all day, with some breaks. It's still not entirely done, but great progress made.
I got up around 11pm...coffee, emails, chatting with roomie, and then I hit the boxes. A friend came by to pick up a book he lent me. So we went for a walk close by to grab coffee & catch up for an hour or so. I was swimming in a sea of chaos in my living room, with papers, scripts, photos, and old mail spread about the floor. I welcomed the reason to escape it briefly.
Good talk. He's a very good actor & writer. When I shared the webisode idea with him, he turned into a flowing faucet of great ideas. Pouring all kinds of characters out, we could use. I laughed out loud, literally, a few times. So even when I tried to escape being productive, I ended out being productive! I LIKE THAT!
I came back to my boxes again, finding a few old things to reminisce over. Like, playbills, old headshots, and project ideas that were just seeds.
Later, my friend that I worked for yesterday came by to pay me, and we chatted a bit and got talking about Michael Jackson, he was like one of my first idols growing up. First make believe boyfriend for sure when I was five. haha So anyway, I bought up the part in THIS IS IT when he gets messed up over what looks like his ear bud, cause he couldn't hear right. And it looked like he had a little freak out, I thought that his insecurities were coming out. And she said (now I'm paraphrasing) "no he wasn't insecure, he was talking about his "inner ear". He was taught to sing & hear from that, and was surrounded by siblings that did the same, and if you listen to the singers they weren't singing from that place, that's why he wasn't hearing it, and as soon as he said something, that got deeper in their bodies and then they did - even though most of them didnt really know what he meant" - That is brilliant. I love that! The idea no truth of his attunement and awareness. It's beautiful, from her perspective. And here I was been fault finding and judgey. Gosh, thank goodess for mirrors eh?
This has been quite the journey of reflection, let me tell you! Well, I guess I have been. haha I really thought I wasn't a judgemental person. I know I have made HUGE strides, but their are still little seeds of that lingering. And this friend has been good about showing me that, The Cafe Gratitude Workshop showed me a lot when I became conscious of my inner dialoge while "listening", and seeing it when coming across other's who are much more actively judgey then I, and feeling how yucky it is the hear it. It's a relief to find the GOOD, to KNOW that no one is ever lacking. To know that I'm not lacking.
Because this 30 days took a different spin on me, and I didn't attract the things I wanted to attract, I could easily assume there is something wrong with me. But there's isn't. My eyes were open to what this shift was for. And the fact we subconsciously chose retrograde to do it, solidifies it for me. Cause after tomorrow, Mercury comes back direct and in alignment and I have myself in better alignment with myself. So it's pretty perfect!
OH! I almost fogot! Me and the roomie got all dressed up in crazy, fun, risky garmets to submit for a Rocky Horror scene somewhere, for something!
Now why can't I get to sleep before 4am again?
Until tomorrow,
xo-me
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Day 28 of 30 Days to Success! - 9-11 gloom, retrograde kinks, & laughter
2 days left! It's strange when I started this, my "not so logical" logic told me I'd be on this journey from August 15th to Sept 15th. 30 days. When in actuality 30 days ends on the 13th. Maybe my subconscious knows something I don't see yet. But this pesky retrograde has certainly put a few kinks into the mix along the way....All for a greater good I'm sure. But I'm glad it's done on the 13th. And I'm sure there is no coinidence. This was not the ideal time for ACTION, PROJECTS, And COMMUNICATION. Which are all essential to Making Money being an ACTRESS! It is however a perfect time for going within for introspection....And it's clear if you have been reading this, that is what has been happening with me more than anything else.
I woke up today, with a cloudy head under a cloudy sky and realized today was 9-11, and we all know what that means. I know people are mourning, or in rememberance, and there are some heavy hearts in the world today. We truly are all affected by each other's energy. Think of Holiday celebrations and what that does to the masses. We are always connected but during those are times, its more obvious.
So today, I had a bit of work planned with a friend, basically driving. I left my house after reading the bus schedule thinking I had time to spare. After walking a bit, I realized I left my phone at home but didn't really have time to go back to get it. Well, I also READ THE WRONG SCHEDULE, I read weekdays instead of weekends, so I actually ended out running late, AND couldn't call. Luckily, at my bus stop there was a working pay-phone close by. I left a message to my friend who was apparently leaving me a message saying how Her car guy was running late and we had to push 2 hours. When I got to her finally, we had time to kill, so we got brunch. I ordered a custom omelette with a choice of potatos, fruit, or cottage cheese. I Went potatos, thinking I should probably get fruit....so what comes out on my plate, fruit! lol
We toasted our coffees and cheered to BEING HERE, I felt so much Thankfullness in my heart for that...today of all days. The day continued to be wacky and what was supposed to be a 1 1/2 - 2 hour time slot turned into an 8 hour adventure! haha.
I was grateful for the brunch girlie goddess talk, and the lessons in patience and flow along the way, cause really with all the forgetfullness, miscommunication, and back & forth we had to do, if we didn't have each other to look at and Laugh it off with, it could have been maddening. But really when in doubt LAUGH, Life obstacles are silly, and temporary. A comedy of errors! So this shit has obviously been going on since Shakespeare, so we might as well learn to react a new & improved way! The energy week I'm experiencing in the Kabalah tree is Splendor and it talks about finding the signs and lessons in mishaps & communications and miscommunications.
I did have plans to try and get more reading done today. But sometimes listening is just as good, if not better. I'm always walking away a little more enlightened and inspired after a day with this friend. She's one of the few people in my life, I can look up to as a strong, independent, self-suffient, self made PERSON, never mind WOMAN!
I got home and caught up with the roomie a bit. Who is getting a little distracted herself with something in particular, so it seems I'm not the only one falling on and off the wagon the past few days, but she does have a little more bounce in her step so if nothing else it's good for that! So with crunch time...we both agreed to do some more working out tomorrow....even though I'm still sore! I'm gonna also do some more work on finishing my LIFE LAUNCH & Marketing book. And hopefully get to organize and go through some boxes of random shit. I also need to find my 2008 taxes and deal with that MONDAY.
TODAY:
Got through retrograde
Made some money
Life Launch exercise...putting life in chapters (I only got up to age 21 and I already have 6 major life change chapters)
Laughed A lot
Read through a few emails that were Loving, Acknowledging, Honest and Inspiring.
Manager gave me two more Goals to help her help me
And now I'm about to watch a Andy Garcia movie called City Island
Thank you for BEING HERE!
xo-me
I woke up today, with a cloudy head under a cloudy sky and realized today was 9-11, and we all know what that means. I know people are mourning, or in rememberance, and there are some heavy hearts in the world today. We truly are all affected by each other's energy. Think of Holiday celebrations and what that does to the masses. We are always connected but during those are times, its more obvious.
So today, I had a bit of work planned with a friend, basically driving. I left my house after reading the bus schedule thinking I had time to spare. After walking a bit, I realized I left my phone at home but didn't really have time to go back to get it. Well, I also READ THE WRONG SCHEDULE, I read weekdays instead of weekends, so I actually ended out running late, AND couldn't call. Luckily, at my bus stop there was a working pay-phone close by. I left a message to my friend who was apparently leaving me a message saying how Her car guy was running late and we had to push 2 hours. When I got to her finally, we had time to kill, so we got brunch. I ordered a custom omelette with a choice of potatos, fruit, or cottage cheese. I Went potatos, thinking I should probably get fruit....so what comes out on my plate, fruit! lol
We toasted our coffees and cheered to BEING HERE, I felt so much Thankfullness in my heart for that...today of all days. The day continued to be wacky and what was supposed to be a 1 1/2 - 2 hour time slot turned into an 8 hour adventure! haha.
I was grateful for the brunch girlie goddess talk, and the lessons in patience and flow along the way, cause really with all the forgetfullness, miscommunication, and back & forth we had to do, if we didn't have each other to look at and Laugh it off with, it could have been maddening. But really when in doubt LAUGH, Life obstacles are silly, and temporary. A comedy of errors! So this shit has obviously been going on since Shakespeare, so we might as well learn to react a new & improved way! The energy week I'm experiencing in the Kabalah tree is Splendor and it talks about finding the signs and lessons in mishaps & communications and miscommunications.
I did have plans to try and get more reading done today. But sometimes listening is just as good, if not better. I'm always walking away a little more enlightened and inspired after a day with this friend. She's one of the few people in my life, I can look up to as a strong, independent, self-suffient, self made PERSON, never mind WOMAN!
I got home and caught up with the roomie a bit. Who is getting a little distracted herself with something in particular, so it seems I'm not the only one falling on and off the wagon the past few days, but she does have a little more bounce in her step so if nothing else it's good for that! So with crunch time...we both agreed to do some more working out tomorrow....even though I'm still sore! I'm gonna also do some more work on finishing my LIFE LAUNCH & Marketing book. And hopefully get to organize and go through some boxes of random shit. I also need to find my 2008 taxes and deal with that MONDAY.
TODAY:
Got through retrograde
Made some money
Life Launch exercise...putting life in chapters (I only got up to age 21 and I already have 6 major life change chapters)
Laughed A lot
Read through a few emails that were Loving, Acknowledging, Honest and Inspiring.
Manager gave me two more Goals to help her help me
And now I'm about to watch a Andy Garcia movie called City Island
Thank you for BEING HERE!
xo-me
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Day 27 of 30 Days to Success! ----ahhhhh, I want more days!
Wow, I'm down to 3 days. This went wayyyy faster than I anticipated. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what else I can do. Probably the grown up stuff I dont want to do, like deal with this tax letter, and start a DBA, and DMV crapola.
My brain is a little moosh tonight as I have had the longest day in creation and got struck with a little whirlwind tonight. So I apologise ahead of time for any MADD talk or DELIRIUM.
Let's go from the beginning Shall we:
Got up at the ass-crack. 5:30am actually my roomie woke me since I didnt set my alarm correctly in my broken phone.
3 buses later in Van Nuys to do audience work on the new Jerry Springer show baggage...we were booked for only 4 hours to recieve 32 bucks, pathetic right? Until we cleverly figured out another service was booking the same show second half of day so that way we could make 64$ made it a little more worth it. Well my favorite warm up guy was there so I was able to find a bright side of my day. And Jerry is actually really cute and funny. We got through relatively fine. Hunger hit with no time to waste before we had to sneak back to the second call-time.
I ate the worst food, nasty, Nasty Del Taco..not many options, Gross! stay away from the breakfast burrito. We got back and some icky (as in attitudey taddle tale) lady recognized Athena...the legs were like five miles long today..hard to miss and we couldn't get on! arghhh! Then! But On the 3 buses, and 3.5 hours traveling later, falling asleep to some dude who was playing 5 different songs on his guitar that all same chords and rhythms, I FOUND MYSELF GRATEFUL TO BE CLOSER TO HOME & BED!
I did get a little gig lined up for tomorrow with a friend to drive and get paid, which works out the same. So yeh! And called a casting friend looking for Rocky Horror peeps for a big show next week, so I send Photos...yeh!
HOME: Laundry, Submissions, emails, craiglist, drowsy eyes.....Knap! Wake up after about an hour or so, shower, Head to gogo gig.
My friend, bailed coming to see me which was a bummer since, I havent seen him in years and he was one of the people I cheated and helped during these 30 days. But I got another surprise...3 actually. Enter guy who inspired me to start this maddness. Sneaky little punk to see me dance. haha. But it was interesting, while I was stretching, I literally had a moment of HE'S COMING TONIGHT....noooo! Well, Yeah. We caught up a bit on the break, and I'm sure it's a blessing his friends came and needed to leave cause I'M NOT DONE WITH MY 30 DAYS YET...and we can easily talk for 4 hours straight about everything we've both been experiencing.
But besides that, we had a new singer so had to flow with the NEW flow on the set, still danced my ass off, but not as tight as normal, missed some gags, our MAIN guy usually does. But it was all good. It really openned my awareness, feeling a little more vulnerable and nervous, to the crowds energy. I have a lot more connections with people watching, and acknowledgment of each other, and had the realization that my energy directly effects there's. It's obviously not all up to me, but I have become part of the show at Waterfront, it's trippy, I'm starting to get regular fans! haha I just found a little more gratitude and a sense of responsibilty.
PRODUCTIVITY TODAY:
Made some cash
Emailed website and Angel photo to new manager
Submitted for more acting jobs
Had a cool thriller script idea in the shower
Didn't take my friend bailing personally
Made amends
Danced it out
Encouraged other's to Dance and have fun!
Have kept up with my blog for 27 days!
I'm still JUST FUCKING DOING IT!!!!
hope you all are having lovely dreams....that come true. I'm catching up!
xo-me
My brain is a little moosh tonight as I have had the longest day in creation and got struck with a little whirlwind tonight. So I apologise ahead of time for any MADD talk or DELIRIUM.
Let's go from the beginning Shall we:
Got up at the ass-crack. 5:30am actually my roomie woke me since I didnt set my alarm correctly in my broken phone.
3 buses later in Van Nuys to do audience work on the new Jerry Springer show baggage...we were booked for only 4 hours to recieve 32 bucks, pathetic right? Until we cleverly figured out another service was booking the same show second half of day so that way we could make 64$ made it a little more worth it. Well my favorite warm up guy was there so I was able to find a bright side of my day. And Jerry is actually really cute and funny. We got through relatively fine. Hunger hit with no time to waste before we had to sneak back to the second call-time.
I ate the worst food, nasty, Nasty Del Taco..not many options, Gross! stay away from the breakfast burrito. We got back and some icky (as in attitudey taddle tale) lady recognized Athena...the legs were like five miles long today..hard to miss and we couldn't get on! arghhh! Then! But On the 3 buses, and 3.5 hours traveling later, falling asleep to some dude who was playing 5 different songs on his guitar that all same chords and rhythms, I FOUND MYSELF GRATEFUL TO BE CLOSER TO HOME & BED!
I did get a little gig lined up for tomorrow with a friend to drive and get paid, which works out the same. So yeh! And called a casting friend looking for Rocky Horror peeps for a big show next week, so I send Photos...yeh!
HOME: Laundry, Submissions, emails, craiglist, drowsy eyes.....Knap! Wake up after about an hour or so, shower, Head to gogo gig.
My friend, bailed coming to see me which was a bummer since, I havent seen him in years and he was one of the people I cheated and helped during these 30 days. But I got another surprise...3 actually. Enter guy who inspired me to start this maddness. Sneaky little punk to see me dance. haha. But it was interesting, while I was stretching, I literally had a moment of HE'S COMING TONIGHT....noooo! Well, Yeah. We caught up a bit on the break, and I'm sure it's a blessing his friends came and needed to leave cause I'M NOT DONE WITH MY 30 DAYS YET...and we can easily talk for 4 hours straight about everything we've both been experiencing.
But besides that, we had a new singer so had to flow with the NEW flow on the set, still danced my ass off, but not as tight as normal, missed some gags, our MAIN guy usually does. But it was all good. It really openned my awareness, feeling a little more vulnerable and nervous, to the crowds energy. I have a lot more connections with people watching, and acknowledgment of each other, and had the realization that my energy directly effects there's. It's obviously not all up to me, but I have become part of the show at Waterfront, it's trippy, I'm starting to get regular fans! haha I just found a little more gratitude and a sense of responsibilty.
PRODUCTIVITY TODAY:
Made some cash
Emailed website and Angel photo to new manager
Submitted for more acting jobs
Had a cool thriller script idea in the shower
Didn't take my friend bailing personally
Made amends
Danced it out
Encouraged other's to Dance and have fun!
Have kept up with my blog for 27 days!
I'm still JUST FUCKING DOING IT!!!!
hope you all are having lovely dreams....that come true. I'm catching up!
xo-me
Friday, September 10, 2010
Day 26 of 30 Days to Success! - Earth Angels helping to change attitudes
Wow, so last night at this time....I was a miserable bitch. We can all admit that. Tonight, I'm pleasant, hopeful, and more at peace. Still swimming in darker waters but more accepting of them.
I was just logging on to start my blog when I came across another blog in my feed that shows the TITLE - YOU FUCKING DID IT!...Obviously it caught my eye and attention. As swear words are one of my favorite things, followed by positive encouragement. So I read it, and just as divine intervention would have it, it was words of loving reminders, and hopefully forseeing that I needed to hear. And then I was even more inspired to see all the other people who had commented and who were touched by these words in someway. If you have the time take a gander: http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2010/09/you-fking-did-it.html
If not a bit of my favorite points:
"In the future, everyone is an artist because it is in THESE DAYS that we realize that each of us is a Creator – each of us are Gods and Goddesses making breaking doing learning living loving."
"Money is made up. Let it go. Love is the only thing that is real.
The future is here for us to be amped, to be motivated, to remind each other that each is doing amazing things. Create this world as so and it will transform itself into a place of wonder right before our eyes."
Ahhhhh! Just reading those words give more life force and confirmation that I'm here for a purpose!
To backtrack a bit, this is where I've been the rest of the day. Today was sunny, which helped my mood tremedously. Although another day of not leaving the house which is getting a little scary. And tomorrow I do the complete opposite, I'm getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to work a double duty of clapping like a seal for fish. aka money. Cash, cause it's needed right now. Then I come home have an hour or two before heading off to The Waterfront to dance it out with The Spazmatics. It will be a long one.
What got done today:
I did some prep casting work in hopeful anticipation of getting the job
Booked the jobs for tomorrow
Me and the roomie attempted a few of the workouts on the Px whatever
Played a Game of Yatzee, I know not related but I haven't played since high school with my Cousin so worth mentioning it for me.
Read through Steel Magnolias with the roomie, Splitting the characters in half which got a little muddled along he way. haha but fun.
Oh man, I got to attack the M'Lynn monologue when she's talking about Shelby's death. God, my heart was wrenched out of my chest seeing Sally Field's doing that the first time in the movie. That was one of the first time's I knew I wanted to act. I had such a viseral reaction to reading it out loud tonight, not like I was performing but was so tuned into the emotion and this is just laying down on my couch, holding it back so my roomate doesn't think I'm losing grip on realty. It was trip.
Just picking up the book actually brought a lot back for me, before we even started reading. My doggie's that I had with "the ex" chewed up a corner of it, and I can remember then being so frustrated because I was missing some of the words, and today I was so grateful because it gives me a little piece of them forever that I can hold in my hands, since they are no longer here. Oh, tears. Memories. Good. bad. It's all relative. What new perspective and wisdom can show us about our past eh?
Thank you to my earth and spirt angels for reaching out to me today. I felt loved and supported today when a few friends checked in to make sure I was okay from my last post. It's so good to receive that. Thank you. And my spirit babies Torch & Blue, who I will love forever, and taught me so much, I'm grateful for them poking their heads and wet noses out of this playbook. The world can be so magical when our eyes are open to see what is "really there".
All this rat race of running, and striving, and hustling for "money" cause that what abundance is??? When all I really have to do is look around me and in my past and realize how many breaths I've been lucky enough to have, How many times I have been in love, how many people and animals in my life have loved me unconditionally, how much I have been able to experience and accomplish, how I have had the opportunity to express myself to touch other people, How I have gifts that help other's and I recognize other's who have gifts that help me. And how lucky I am, that I get to do it all again in a NEW way tomorrow. That's Abundance!
That's life right, I fucking did it, and I'm still doing it!!! YOU FUCKING DID IT TOO, but in your own beautiful, magical way, and I high five you!
Love, cause that all there is...
xo-me
I was just logging on to start my blog when I came across another blog in my feed that shows the TITLE - YOU FUCKING DID IT!...Obviously it caught my eye and attention. As swear words are one of my favorite things, followed by positive encouragement. So I read it, and just as divine intervention would have it, it was words of loving reminders, and hopefully forseeing that I needed to hear. And then I was even more inspired to see all the other people who had commented and who were touched by these words in someway. If you have the time take a gander: http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2010/09/you-fking-did-it.html
If not a bit of my favorite points:
"In the future, everyone is an artist because it is in THESE DAYS that we realize that each of us is a Creator – each of us are Gods and Goddesses making breaking doing learning living loving."
"Money is made up. Let it go. Love is the only thing that is real.
The future is here for us to be amped, to be motivated, to remind each other that each is doing amazing things. Create this world as so and it will transform itself into a place of wonder right before our eyes."
Ahhhhh! Just reading those words give more life force and confirmation that I'm here for a purpose!
To backtrack a bit, this is where I've been the rest of the day. Today was sunny, which helped my mood tremedously. Although another day of not leaving the house which is getting a little scary. And tomorrow I do the complete opposite, I'm getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to work a double duty of clapping like a seal for fish. aka money. Cash, cause it's needed right now. Then I come home have an hour or two before heading off to The Waterfront to dance it out with The Spazmatics. It will be a long one.
What got done today:
I did some prep casting work in hopeful anticipation of getting the job
Booked the jobs for tomorrow
Me and the roomie attempted a few of the workouts on the Px whatever
Played a Game of Yatzee, I know not related but I haven't played since high school with my Cousin so worth mentioning it for me.
Read through Steel Magnolias with the roomie, Splitting the characters in half which got a little muddled along he way. haha but fun.
Oh man, I got to attack the M'Lynn monologue when she's talking about Shelby's death. God, my heart was wrenched out of my chest seeing Sally Field's doing that the first time in the movie. That was one of the first time's I knew I wanted to act. I had such a viseral reaction to reading it out loud tonight, not like I was performing but was so tuned into the emotion and this is just laying down on my couch, holding it back so my roomate doesn't think I'm losing grip on realty. It was trip.
Just picking up the book actually brought a lot back for me, before we even started reading. My doggie's that I had with "the ex" chewed up a corner of it, and I can remember then being so frustrated because I was missing some of the words, and today I was so grateful because it gives me a little piece of them forever that I can hold in my hands, since they are no longer here. Oh, tears. Memories. Good. bad. It's all relative. What new perspective and wisdom can show us about our past eh?
Thank you to my earth and spirt angels for reaching out to me today. I felt loved and supported today when a few friends checked in to make sure I was okay from my last post. It's so good to receive that. Thank you. And my spirit babies Torch & Blue, who I will love forever, and taught me so much, I'm grateful for them poking their heads and wet noses out of this playbook. The world can be so magical when our eyes are open to see what is "really there".
All this rat race of running, and striving, and hustling for "money" cause that what abundance is??? When all I really have to do is look around me and in my past and realize how many breaths I've been lucky enough to have, How many times I have been in love, how many people and animals in my life have loved me unconditionally, how much I have been able to experience and accomplish, how I have had the opportunity to express myself to touch other people, How I have gifts that help other's and I recognize other's who have gifts that help me. And how lucky I am, that I get to do it all again in a NEW way tomorrow. That's Abundance!
That's life right, I fucking did it, and I'm still doing it!!! YOU FUCKING DID IT TOO, but in your own beautiful, magical way, and I high five you!
Love, cause that all there is...
xo-me
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day 25 of 30 Days to Success - this feels like its back firing
arggggggggh! Thats right! I'm miss negitive pants today...again. The past few days, really. I'm getting discouraged! What do you want? I can't be happy cheerleader all the time I guess. I'm using the analogy that I have a carrot being dangled in front of me with every life situation currently, and it all seems barely out of my reach.
I'm on hold for a casting job...the past 2 or 3 potential jobs end up passing on the company I cast for. They keep pushing the answer another day, then again and again.
Being tease with SAG work...then i just don't get booked after I say I'm available.
Boys - then I just think about the past few monther's I had that were all about me and literally overnight freak out!
I mean really?! I'm getting things done! I have been focusing, I got off track a few times but not with anything major. And really this was supposed to be, make money time. I literally have 3.00 in my pocket until fri. This is fucking rediculous, I feel like crap, and I'm at the point where I'm thinking what the fuck am I doing?
I talked to my folks yesterday, and a high school friend today, and I get mad that I can't go home to visit cause I can never afford it. I've downgraded my life a lot the past two years...to what end? Great, I know how to live on next to nothing, great, I'm done now! How about I learn how to live on everything I have ever wanted and imagined???!!! How about that please?! I feel like the universe is dicking me around. AND I PISSED!
All the vision boarding and self help crap helps to a certain point. I feel released or inspired in moments but then when things are right at my finger tips and then taken away...what the hell is that?! I got some weird fucking karma or something?
okay, like today I didn't go to Anthropologie, I was getting ready really slow dragging ass and missed my bus window but this was also after realizing my last 3.00 was going to get me there and back...was I supposed to trust that?! I felt like I should save it for an actually money job, not just the possiblilty of one. But then I got an email saying SAG work tomorrow, yeah relieved to have that 3 dollars to get me to that guarenteed money job, and I thought great! My intuition was right!...nope dont get booked. ahhhhh!
Well enough of my bitching...
Here's what I did do
Updated imdb with some VO work...which took forever to figure out, and we'll see if they accept them...Thank you friend for reminding me!
Mailed postcards
Discussed the casting brief - hopefully for a good reason, like getting the job
updated/completed my linkedin page
Read more of Me 2.0
Read the play I'm doing in October
I guess seeing all that, it wasn't a pointless day. Geez, I do feel way better with the sun shining though! This september gloom is no fun. Today was the new moon, time to plant seeds. I felt more like burying myself in the ground in the seeds place. Maybe that's what I'm symbolically supposed to do...someone throw some water on me and see if anything sprouts!
Dream of exciting things, hope you had better spirits than I today
xo-me
I'm on hold for a casting job...the past 2 or 3 potential jobs end up passing on the company I cast for. They keep pushing the answer another day, then again and again.
Being tease with SAG work...then i just don't get booked after I say I'm available.
Boys - then I just think about the past few monther's I had that were all about me and literally overnight freak out!
I mean really?! I'm getting things done! I have been focusing, I got off track a few times but not with anything major. And really this was supposed to be, make money time. I literally have 3.00 in my pocket until fri. This is fucking rediculous, I feel like crap, and I'm at the point where I'm thinking what the fuck am I doing?
I talked to my folks yesterday, and a high school friend today, and I get mad that I can't go home to visit cause I can never afford it. I've downgraded my life a lot the past two years...to what end? Great, I know how to live on next to nothing, great, I'm done now! How about I learn how to live on everything I have ever wanted and imagined???!!! How about that please?! I feel like the universe is dicking me around. AND I PISSED!
All the vision boarding and self help crap helps to a certain point. I feel released or inspired in moments but then when things are right at my finger tips and then taken away...what the hell is that?! I got some weird fucking karma or something?
okay, like today I didn't go to Anthropologie, I was getting ready really slow dragging ass and missed my bus window but this was also after realizing my last 3.00 was going to get me there and back...was I supposed to trust that?! I felt like I should save it for an actually money job, not just the possiblilty of one. But then I got an email saying SAG work tomorrow, yeah relieved to have that 3 dollars to get me to that guarenteed money job, and I thought great! My intuition was right!...nope dont get booked. ahhhhh!
Well enough of my bitching...
Here's what I did do
Updated imdb with some VO work...which took forever to figure out, and we'll see if they accept them...Thank you friend for reminding me!
Mailed postcards
Discussed the casting brief - hopefully for a good reason, like getting the job
updated/completed my linkedin page
Read more of Me 2.0
Read the play I'm doing in October
I guess seeing all that, it wasn't a pointless day. Geez, I do feel way better with the sun shining though! This september gloom is no fun. Today was the new moon, time to plant seeds. I felt more like burying myself in the ground in the seeds place. Maybe that's what I'm symbolically supposed to do...someone throw some water on me and see if anything sprouts!
Dream of exciting things, hope you had better spirits than I today
xo-me
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Day 24 of 30 Days to Success - "nothing" can be draining
Yeh! Today I got some work. Grateful for a check, but that little ego self is in the back of my brain hating myself for having to do background work, not only background but non-union. I HAVE A SAG CARD. It's been collecting dust thus far this year. But sometimes ya gotta Hustle! Anyway we did nothing really, we were used for a whole 20 minutes. I didnt sleep much last night so I was dragging ass towards the end of the day. Days feel longer when you do nothing.
*I read my "Splendor" Chapter in WISH...did the exercises again 2 years later. I should find my old journel and compare notes.
*Called MY DAD! We had a good talk. He was pretty clear during most of it. which was good. I was really feeling pulled to call today. I asked him if he remembered what he wanted to grow up to be...he giggled and said a baseball player as he was watching the game, and then fly planes...which he did. Then he started playing guitar and he went on tangents from there.
I got an exciting email today that reminded me my film LEADING LADIES is showing in Champaign IL our birth place and they are now, trying to get sponsors to fly the cast out to be there for it. I'd love to be there end month, to have the whole experience come full circle!
Read more of my marketing/branding book today on the bus
Got home and vegged with food and facebook...did I mention we didnt get fed today? p&j for me all day...
Roomie got home after treating herself to a movie and she brought up the Px60 workout...am I saying that right? She's been talking about getting more in shape the past few weeks, it's been on the back of my mind too. Specially getting my college dancer legs back.
And last night, our friend had a psychic/life coach experience she shared with us, that suggested she play the game if she wanted to make it in this industry, workout, lose a few pounds, get facials, cut the hair, wear false eyelashes to auditions...etc. And it got me thinking about how well, or lax I have been about my physical appearance. We are in Hollywood afterall, and the little hippy in me wants to rebel against it, but then I have the little only daughter princess in me too, that loves playing dress up, so I'm right at home with screenings and premieres, but EVERYDAY! Argh. Not to mention the financial investment it requires. Oh, to have that casting Salary again, without the hours...how I would do it differently! Would not be spending it on RESIDUALS every weekend or traffic/parking tickets.
There is a balance and confidence I have when I'm feeling fit. So I think we are gonna give this thing a go. Probably not to the letter, but as a strong guideline. We did the weight/height ratio, I was glad to know I actually weighed less than I thought. 119. 17.6 body fat. I'm pretty much where I should be a little less actually but by Hollywood standards I could probably lose 5 -10 pounds. Rediculous, but true. My concern though is leg tone. And define arms a bit more. So maybe just the 5.
Anyways, another challenge/days to success ahead of me. The eating plan is going to be difficult...ONE carb a day, 5 proteins...hahaha yeah right, how does a veggy do that? Gotta research.
Tomorrow:
Going to interview at a clothes store.
Drop postcards in mail
Read/possibly finish marketing book
workout
more...not sure yet
Two smacks on the wrist for helping two people today! haha OH, coolest thing I've had happen in a while. A saw a man digging through the trash for cans, and he got out and was falling asleep sitting on the sidewalk...I looked at him, sent love and asked Angels to surround him, help him, and mentally cheered for him to find his light again. I tend to do this alot since public transpo. Anyways, I read on, and in this chapter says look out for symbols one of which the color orange. I see a woman who has her kid working bring an empty can over to the man's cart while he slept, adding to his collection, and she was wearing orange sandles. AHHHH. Tune in to your thoughts and feelings and keep your eyes open, I love this shit!!!
sleepytime,
xo-me
*I read my "Splendor" Chapter in WISH...did the exercises again 2 years later. I should find my old journel and compare notes.
*Called MY DAD! We had a good talk. He was pretty clear during most of it. which was good. I was really feeling pulled to call today. I asked him if he remembered what he wanted to grow up to be...he giggled and said a baseball player as he was watching the game, and then fly planes...which he did. Then he started playing guitar and he went on tangents from there.
I got an exciting email today that reminded me my film LEADING LADIES is showing in Champaign IL our birth place and they are now, trying to get sponsors to fly the cast out to be there for it. I'd love to be there end month, to have the whole experience come full circle!
Read more of my marketing/branding book today on the bus
Got home and vegged with food and facebook...did I mention we didnt get fed today? p&j for me all day...
Roomie got home after treating herself to a movie and she brought up the Px60 workout...am I saying that right? She's been talking about getting more in shape the past few weeks, it's been on the back of my mind too. Specially getting my college dancer legs back.
And last night, our friend had a psychic/life coach experience she shared with us, that suggested she play the game if she wanted to make it in this industry, workout, lose a few pounds, get facials, cut the hair, wear false eyelashes to auditions...etc. And it got me thinking about how well, or lax I have been about my physical appearance. We are in Hollywood afterall, and the little hippy in me wants to rebel against it, but then I have the little only daughter princess in me too, that loves playing dress up, so I'm right at home with screenings and premieres, but EVERYDAY! Argh. Not to mention the financial investment it requires. Oh, to have that casting Salary again, without the hours...how I would do it differently! Would not be spending it on RESIDUALS every weekend or traffic/parking tickets.
There is a balance and confidence I have when I'm feeling fit. So I think we are gonna give this thing a go. Probably not to the letter, but as a strong guideline. We did the weight/height ratio, I was glad to know I actually weighed less than I thought. 119. 17.6 body fat. I'm pretty much where I should be a little less actually but by Hollywood standards I could probably lose 5 -10 pounds. Rediculous, but true. My concern though is leg tone. And define arms a bit more. So maybe just the 5.
Anyways, another challenge/days to success ahead of me. The eating plan is going to be difficult...ONE carb a day, 5 proteins...hahaha yeah right, how does a veggy do that? Gotta research.
Tomorrow:
Going to interview at a clothes store.
Drop postcards in mail
Read/possibly finish marketing book
workout
more...not sure yet
Two smacks on the wrist for helping two people today! haha OH, coolest thing I've had happen in a while. A saw a man digging through the trash for cans, and he got out and was falling asleep sitting on the sidewalk...I looked at him, sent love and asked Angels to surround him, help him, and mentally cheered for him to find his light again. I tend to do this alot since public transpo. Anyways, I read on, and in this chapter says look out for symbols one of which the color orange. I see a woman who has her kid working bring an empty can over to the man's cart while he slept, adding to his collection, and she was wearing orange sandles. AHHHH. Tune in to your thoughts and feelings and keep your eyes open, I love this shit!!!
sleepytime,
xo-me
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Day 23 of 30 Days to Success! - A quicky!
This has to be a quicky cause I'm already past the point of SHOULD BE SLEEPING. I have an early call-time tomorrow. This usually happens, I get on a night owl schedule, I get a random early call time and be screwed on trying to get to sleep. Camomile isnt kicking in yet. Just spent a half hour trying to figure out the bus schedule to avoid a 25 minute walk. errr not sure the logic there, but I'm sure I'll appreciate in the morning. Hoping I can scrounge enough change for the buses. It's a pain to always need exact change for that. ewww I'm sounding a bit negitive. let's jump out of that.
I am grateful for the work tomorrow. Once I get there it sounds like an easy day.
Today:
*I wrote out my seven postcards
*Had some back and forth about a possible casting project
*Got my schedule discussed for my upcoming play
*Filled out my Anthropolgy App
*Applied to 2 casting jobs, heard back from one
*Reading "Splender" chapter in A WISH CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
*May have a friend interested in helping/prducing the webseries
*Read thru again with Robin & Athena
*Did a round of Tarot Cards (apparently I have some more past things to deal with/let go and need to get married and lay down roots before I become successful, which seems backwards) hmmmm. Strange.
*oh, and I also painted my nails!
I had a strange realization, wonderful actually, how easy it can be to let things go when you shift your focus, how something or someone can affect you so strongly when you are involved in the drama of it, and how quickly you can choose to be out of it...I was asked about a story that was occuring when I first started the 30 days and it was so heavy of my mind and in my awareness I knew then, and even replayed every little detail daily, and today I had a hard time remembering most of the story, my roommate had to fill in the blanks for me. Crazy right?! Liberating really! Shifting....weeeee.
That's it for now. I plan on getting some reading done tomorrow on set! Now, if I could just get some sleep.....
oohhh, ps, broke a few rules today...
emailed my manager for an actor friend
talked and boys
put energy into another project that isnt entirely one of my jobs yet...
Much Love,
xo-me
I am grateful for the work tomorrow. Once I get there it sounds like an easy day.
Today:
*I wrote out my seven postcards
*Had some back and forth about a possible casting project
*Got my schedule discussed for my upcoming play
*Filled out my Anthropolgy App
*Applied to 2 casting jobs, heard back from one
*Reading "Splender" chapter in A WISH CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE
*May have a friend interested in helping/prducing the webseries
*Read thru again with Robin & Athena
*Did a round of Tarot Cards (apparently I have some more past things to deal with/let go and need to get married and lay down roots before I become successful, which seems backwards) hmmmm. Strange.
*oh, and I also painted my nails!
I had a strange realization, wonderful actually, how easy it can be to let things go when you shift your focus, how something or someone can affect you so strongly when you are involved in the drama of it, and how quickly you can choose to be out of it...I was asked about a story that was occuring when I first started the 30 days and it was so heavy of my mind and in my awareness I knew then, and even replayed every little detail daily, and today I had a hard time remembering most of the story, my roommate had to fill in the blanks for me. Crazy right?! Liberating really! Shifting....weeeee.
That's it for now. I plan on getting some reading done tomorrow on set! Now, if I could just get some sleep.....
oohhh, ps, broke a few rules today...
emailed my manager for an actor friend
talked and boys
put energy into another project that isnt entirely one of my jobs yet...
Much Love,
xo-me
Monday, September 6, 2010
Day 22 of 30 days to Success!
So a lot of time was spent on the big blue bus today. Me and Athena got all motivated to get out of the apartment today, since it was beautiful, even took showers and looked human to go to the stores and we ended out losing sun and fighting a chill all day.
Hit up 3rd street prom, she was making the commitment to change her San Diego number to LA, but they ran out of iphones at the mac store. We went to Anthropologie, cause for some reason I think it's a good idea to get a job somewhere I'd be tempted to spend my whole check! haha
She treated me to a hot chocolate on the ride home which was nice! The caffiene & sugar made us giddy the rest of the evening. We have been fools, singing while we talk, randomly spitting out lyrics of 80s songs, youtube searching old music videos, dancing dorky around the living room, facebooking each other 4 feet apart from one another, and verbally KONKING each other on the head if we mention "distractions" we'll call them. Past few days, that line has been slightly crossed from our intentions. Damn hearts and hormones!......and boredom.
As for my list:
*I got a job app
*I read the script I'll be casting
*read the first complete episode of our webisode, thanks to Athena
*did some job searching on craigslist
*googled to psychic lady, I want a reading from
*I got the 7 casting directors and addresses for the postcards
(in that search i learned a few other things about actors and director I dig like Johnny has 13 films in developement)
*added a film, I forgot about to the resume
I didn't get to:
calling pops
emailing my website
and tons of other stuff I dont want to think about or havent come up with yet.
Shit what now?...besides organizing pictures and boxes. I feel like most of the other things require money! errrr. So I'm there again.
Anyway,
xo-me
Hit up 3rd street prom, she was making the commitment to change her San Diego number to LA, but they ran out of iphones at the mac store. We went to Anthropologie, cause for some reason I think it's a good idea to get a job somewhere I'd be tempted to spend my whole check! haha
She treated me to a hot chocolate on the ride home which was nice! The caffiene & sugar made us giddy the rest of the evening. We have been fools, singing while we talk, randomly spitting out lyrics of 80s songs, youtube searching old music videos, dancing dorky around the living room, facebooking each other 4 feet apart from one another, and verbally KONKING each other on the head if we mention "distractions" we'll call them. Past few days, that line has been slightly crossed from our intentions. Damn hearts and hormones!......and boredom.
As for my list:
*I got a job app
*I read the script I'll be casting
*read the first complete episode of our webisode, thanks to Athena
*did some job searching on craigslist
*googled to psychic lady, I want a reading from
*I got the 7 casting directors and addresses for the postcards
(in that search i learned a few other things about actors and director I dig like Johnny has 13 films in developement)
*added a film, I forgot about to the resume
I didn't get to:
calling pops
emailing my website
and tons of other stuff I dont want to think about or havent come up with yet.
Shit what now?...besides organizing pictures and boxes. I feel like most of the other things require money! errrr. So I'm there again.
Anyway,
xo-me
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Day 21 of 30 days to Success!
geez, I feel like I'm fizzling a bit. On one hand we all need breaks on the other, I feel like I'm always on a break and these 30 days was supposed to be the opposite of that. It's a blessing and a curse to not have a set schedule laid out for you with bosses and expectations that you have to meet for other people, cause it sometimes feels harder to meet them for yourself.
today the roomie and I decided with nothing planned, no offers, and nothing pressing, we'd do nothing. Work wise anyway. Apparently me and my broken phone missed a few other options. But we walked around a lot. I hit the bank to get my gogo money in there to ensure the rent check wouldnt bounce, and then we went to get groceries cause she wanted to make turkey burgers and fries for "OUR LABOR DAY" treat. A little cheat from the vegetarian diet and we talked about boys and past relationships and what we have learnt, and hope for, etc. This was against the Career focus, but it's good to flush things out, especially with only 9 days left before being open for business again! lol Talked to my momma too which was nice. She's been on my mind a lot, both my folks actually. I should call pops tomorrow.
Then we hit red box and got movies, Sherlock Holmes AWESOME! unimpressed with miss rachel mcadams though and I usually love her, and then a little indie called Greenberg - With Ben Stiller, Good acting, weird story kinda long, but fucked up awkward characters, a slice of life. Nothing too eventful happens but it gets reactions out of you, I guess that's what you want film to do. SO I guess we did do some research in a sense.
Now I just saw in my email a new draft of a script from my writer/director friend that I need to get on reading, as I'll be casting it sooner than I thought. Here's the rub, once your a casting director for someone they dont really see you as anything else. LIKE AN AWESOME ACTRESS! I hope I dont fall in love with this character, he writes really well for woman!
Okay I have had 2 slacker days! Gotta pick up the pace a bit.
Things to do:
*email my website to contacts
*pick the 7 casting directors I gonna postcard harrass
*finish what I dont of the script
*come up with more shit to do
*oh, call pops - It's kinda work! lol
good night, happy long weekend!
xo-me
today the roomie and I decided with nothing planned, no offers, and nothing pressing, we'd do nothing. Work wise anyway. Apparently me and my broken phone missed a few other options. But we walked around a lot. I hit the bank to get my gogo money in there to ensure the rent check wouldnt bounce, and then we went to get groceries cause she wanted to make turkey burgers and fries for "OUR LABOR DAY" treat. A little cheat from the vegetarian diet and we talked about boys and past relationships and what we have learnt, and hope for, etc. This was against the Career focus, but it's good to flush things out, especially with only 9 days left before being open for business again! lol Talked to my momma too which was nice. She's been on my mind a lot, both my folks actually. I should call pops tomorrow.
Then we hit red box and got movies, Sherlock Holmes AWESOME! unimpressed with miss rachel mcadams though and I usually love her, and then a little indie called Greenberg - With Ben Stiller, Good acting, weird story kinda long, but fucked up awkward characters, a slice of life. Nothing too eventful happens but it gets reactions out of you, I guess that's what you want film to do. SO I guess we did do some research in a sense.
Now I just saw in my email a new draft of a script from my writer/director friend that I need to get on reading, as I'll be casting it sooner than I thought. Here's the rub, once your a casting director for someone they dont really see you as anything else. LIKE AN AWESOME ACTRESS! I hope I dont fall in love with this character, he writes really well for woman!
Okay I have had 2 slacker days! Gotta pick up the pace a bit.
Things to do:
*email my website to contacts
*pick the 7 casting directors I gonna postcard harrass
*finish what I dont of the script
*come up with more shit to do
*oh, call pops - It's kinda work! lol
good night, happy long weekend!
xo-me
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Day 20 of 30 Days to Success! Screening list included!
So today wasnt all that advantages to career wise, but it was in acknowledgement which is sometimes even better. I woke up pretty late, had my coffee, did a little facebooking, and recieved a message from a blast from the past in which we had a lovely exchange. It was also a great reflection for me to see how much has actually happened and changed since that time.
Then I picked up a book called "A WISH CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE" based on Kabbalah teachings. It's a weekly practice basically discovering each branch/energy along the way. Well I picked it up and opened randomly with the intention it would show me where I was energetically and It was spot on. ETERNITY - the color green - the number 7, all about repetition to complete a goal, sending a message to an idol, be in nature, living in your pleasure - basically an eat, drink, be merry time, even explore your sensual pleasures. And since that goes against my 30 days, I will refrain, for now. lol however I am gonna pick 7 target casting directors to send postcards to for 7 days! see what happens
But it was right on, been attracting green things, lil gifts, chocolat, babysitting animals in Malibu canynon and theres beautiful nature, repeated working on website until it was finished, playing songs, hung with friends at network night, gogo danced tonight, etc Anyways, yeah gogo tonight was fun, even with slightly tweeked back. I missed last week, and the boys missed me, which was nice to hear, they were full of compliments, which was also nice to feel acknowledged, sometimes distant makes the heart grow fonder... haha
oh did the usual submissions, nothing too excited out there right now. errr. Athena had an audition today that went really well, yippie. She's flowing more with the work. apparently my emails are getting lost in the shuffle, cause the woman booking the commercial asked her where I was. But i was never booked...not sure what thats about. odd though.
Well here's the important stuff! LEADING LADIES!!!! more festivals! Thank you to Laurel Vail, the leading lady herself for posting this and making it easier for me! TELL EVERYONE!
Denver Film Festival
November 3-14, 2010
St. Louis International Film Festival
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Hong Kong Lesbian & Gay Film Festival
November, 2010
Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival
Seattle, WA, Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tampa International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Tampa, FL, Saturday, October 16th, 2010
Image Out
Rochester, NY, October 8-17
Your Normal LGBT Film Festival
Normal, IL, Friday, October 8, 2010, 7pm
Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
Atlanta, GA, Saturday, October 2, 2010, 6pm, Landmark Cinemas
that's it for now! I got my play rehearsals coming up...i gotta read that email. WOuldnt it be nice to get a part on Footloose shooting in Atlanta then I can go out and rep the film too! Come one universe BRING IT!
be love
xo - me
Then I picked up a book called "A WISH CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE" based on Kabbalah teachings. It's a weekly practice basically discovering each branch/energy along the way. Well I picked it up and opened randomly with the intention it would show me where I was energetically and It was spot on. ETERNITY - the color green - the number 7, all about repetition to complete a goal, sending a message to an idol, be in nature, living in your pleasure - basically an eat, drink, be merry time, even explore your sensual pleasures. And since that goes against my 30 days, I will refrain, for now. lol however I am gonna pick 7 target casting directors to send postcards to for 7 days! see what happens
But it was right on, been attracting green things, lil gifts, chocolat, babysitting animals in Malibu canynon and theres beautiful nature, repeated working on website until it was finished, playing songs, hung with friends at network night, gogo danced tonight, etc Anyways, yeah gogo tonight was fun, even with slightly tweeked back. I missed last week, and the boys missed me, which was nice to hear, they were full of compliments, which was also nice to feel acknowledged, sometimes distant makes the heart grow fonder... haha
oh did the usual submissions, nothing too excited out there right now. errr. Athena had an audition today that went really well, yippie. She's flowing more with the work. apparently my emails are getting lost in the shuffle, cause the woman booking the commercial asked her where I was. But i was never booked...not sure what thats about. odd though.
Well here's the important stuff! LEADING LADIES!!!! more festivals! Thank you to Laurel Vail, the leading lady herself for posting this and making it easier for me! TELL EVERYONE!
Denver Film Festival
November 3-14, 2010
St. Louis International Film Festival
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Hong Kong Lesbian & Gay Film Festival
November, 2010
Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival
Seattle, WA, Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Tampa International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
Tampa, FL, Saturday, October 16th, 2010
Image Out
Rochester, NY, October 8-17
Your Normal LGBT Film Festival
Normal, IL, Friday, October 8, 2010, 7pm
Atlanta Gay and Lesbian Film Festival
Atlanta, GA, Saturday, October 2, 2010, 6pm, Landmark Cinemas
that's it for now! I got my play rehearsals coming up...i gotta read that email. WOuldnt it be nice to get a part on Footloose shooting in Atlanta then I can go out and rep the film too! Come one universe BRING IT!
be love
xo - me
Friday, September 3, 2010
Day 19 of 30 days of success
this is is going to be short for 2 reasons, 1 I am ready for bed, and 2 i dont really have anything exciting to share. I didnt get to sleep today until 7am. slept until about 12. played guitar a bit. hit the bank and then got a ride home. I have been watching movies ever since. needed to just be in my space and chill. roomies shooting a commercial all day still there. So its been me and johnny today. Pirates 2 & 3 and just got done watching chocalat. Cant go wrong with johnney Depp. and lots of other good acting to watch.
So thats it for me. besides back still hurting
bed
xo- me
So thats it for me. besides back still hurting
bed
xo- me
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Day 18 of 30 Days to Success!
Concluding my stay in the BU! My friend came home early ahead of her family and her new love came to pick her up from the airport to bring her home. They are darling together and so joyful and giddy and open to each other. It's inspiring. Anyways, I was fully ready to get a ride back home tonight to give them some alone time. But a few glasses of wine were had and alas, I have one more evening in the lovely canyon, that's got a really cool misty fog happening right now.
I have been trying to cleverly devise ways to get out of there way so they can feel free to make out. Like saying "I have to go blog now...You guys should go in the hot tub!" haha Plan worked! Actually there was a few more things I wanted to work on that needed the computer anyhow. So it's perfect I got more time here, to utilize the flow I was in throughout the day.
I knew it was crunch time so I made a 'to do' list last night that was pretty long...some things not urgent but then after a phone call with my producer friend there was more of a need to get some casting stuff done too. So added to said 'to do' list.
I started the day with Lucas staring me down...that's one of the doggies! haha Got my coffee, and my journal and went to town on that a while, working more on my Creative Visualization book, and FINISHED the exercises. yeh! Had a little skype with my UK buddy, who always shows up when I think of him or vice versa...isn't cool how in tune we can be with another being on the other end of the earth! Then My friend told me about a psychic she went to recently who sounds AMAZING! I gotta go! My back was still tweeked from last night, so did some yoga stretching which seemed to help.
Took a walk down to the bank and store. Had some cool happenings on the way. I was just realizing how I hadn't seen any wild parrots up here since staying and then low and behold they show up on my foot journey. 10 of them. I hit the store, get some more fruit for the domesticated parrot, walk out and asked by an adorable guy named Daniel if I have time for Gay Right's...ahhh of course! I felt good about giving a donation, even though my bank account doesn't really reflect that at the moment, but what's 10$? Then he cleverly ups me to 18$ cause of PROP "8" He's doesn't even know my affinity to numbers. Lucky for him though...I'm like " Yeah, 8, the number of abundance!" He's thinks I'm weird and being cheep cause here I am in Malibu! haha But I took this opportunity to tell him about my film LEADING LADIES, hello spread the word, it's a feel good dance movie for gay kids! He loved that! So the 18$ serves an even greater purpose! Guess what, parrots fly by me again this time 18 of them. lol
I head in the bank, but not before noticing and laughing at a sign that said "Warning Paparazzi" really? anyway after I came out I saw Gary Busey in his old black Mercedes! haha and then walked a little further down the street and there went those parrots again back down to 10 of them. I realize I'm in the same spot as when they first showed up. a few steps later the coolest feather I have ever seen was at my feet. I think it's a hawk feather. The Magic of the BU!
I got back and went right to the computer to get things done. Tweeking out my back all over again from sitting so long. Took breaks to do laundry, pack, pet the dogs, talk gibberish to the bird and eat. Glad to say Stella Nova Casting website is updated, Three formatted worksheets are done, and new post cards designed.
So to tally it all up...
I have finished my acting website
I have updated my casting website
I have new Postcards designed and ready to order
I finished my creative visualization book
I got choreography done for a Music Video
AHHH - Pandora is playing the dance song from my short "String of Pearls" and my dancer/actress friend who was in it is who's house I have been watching...SEE MAGIC! lol
Went to a Network Night
Casting paperwork done!
I feel like there's more but I don't know...
While I'm still here and awake, I think I'm gonna design new business cards and type out a few of my songs that haven't been yet. Then maybe sleep? Oh, cool. her man is playing the piano downstairs. I'm always in awh, when someone can walk up to an instrument a create a world. And I just for shits & giggles typed his band into Pandora they are totally in it! How cool?! Yeah, people moving forward and being wonderful!
Wow! this is extra long, I knew I should have done part one earlier!
Hind sight,
good night...sorta
xo-me
I have been trying to cleverly devise ways to get out of there way so they can feel free to make out. Like saying "I have to go blog now...You guys should go in the hot tub!" haha Plan worked! Actually there was a few more things I wanted to work on that needed the computer anyhow. So it's perfect I got more time here, to utilize the flow I was in throughout the day.
I knew it was crunch time so I made a 'to do' list last night that was pretty long...some things not urgent but then after a phone call with my producer friend there was more of a need to get some casting stuff done too. So added to said 'to do' list.
I started the day with Lucas staring me down...that's one of the doggies! haha Got my coffee, and my journal and went to town on that a while, working more on my Creative Visualization book, and FINISHED the exercises. yeh! Had a little skype with my UK buddy, who always shows up when I think of him or vice versa...isn't cool how in tune we can be with another being on the other end of the earth! Then My friend told me about a psychic she went to recently who sounds AMAZING! I gotta go! My back was still tweeked from last night, so did some yoga stretching which seemed to help.
Took a walk down to the bank and store. Had some cool happenings on the way. I was just realizing how I hadn't seen any wild parrots up here since staying and then low and behold they show up on my foot journey. 10 of them. I hit the store, get some more fruit for the domesticated parrot, walk out and asked by an adorable guy named Daniel if I have time for Gay Right's...ahhh of course! I felt good about giving a donation, even though my bank account doesn't really reflect that at the moment, but what's 10$? Then he cleverly ups me to 18$ cause of PROP "8" He's doesn't even know my affinity to numbers. Lucky for him though...I'm like " Yeah, 8, the number of abundance!" He's thinks I'm weird and being cheep cause here I am in Malibu! haha But I took this opportunity to tell him about my film LEADING LADIES, hello spread the word, it's a feel good dance movie for gay kids! He loved that! So the 18$ serves an even greater purpose! Guess what, parrots fly by me again this time 18 of them. lol
I head in the bank, but not before noticing and laughing at a sign that said "Warning Paparazzi" really? anyway after I came out I saw Gary Busey in his old black Mercedes! haha and then walked a little further down the street and there went those parrots again back down to 10 of them. I realize I'm in the same spot as when they first showed up. a few steps later the coolest feather I have ever seen was at my feet. I think it's a hawk feather. The Magic of the BU!
I got back and went right to the computer to get things done. Tweeking out my back all over again from sitting so long. Took breaks to do laundry, pack, pet the dogs, talk gibberish to the bird and eat. Glad to say Stella Nova Casting website is updated, Three formatted worksheets are done, and new post cards designed.
So to tally it all up...
I have finished my acting website
I have updated my casting website
I have new Postcards designed and ready to order
I finished my creative visualization book
I got choreography done for a Music Video
AHHH - Pandora is playing the dance song from my short "String of Pearls" and my dancer/actress friend who was in it is who's house I have been watching...SEE MAGIC! lol
Went to a Network Night
Casting paperwork done!
I feel like there's more but I don't know...
While I'm still here and awake, I think I'm gonna design new business cards and type out a few of my songs that haven't been yet. Then maybe sleep? Oh, cool. her man is playing the piano downstairs. I'm always in awh, when someone can walk up to an instrument a create a world. And I just for shits & giggles typed his band into Pandora they are totally in it! How cool?! Yeah, people moving forward and being wonderful!
Wow! this is extra long, I knew I should have done part one earlier!
Hind sight,
good night...sorta
xo-me
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Day 17 out of 30 Days to Success
Okay! Getting a bit confused on the days I'm trying to keep track of cause I have days of this Challenge and days of Malibu. But sadly Malibu is getting cut short. My vacation from apartment...we're I realize I'm not working...is coming to an end. My friend is coming back early so tomorrow is my last day.
I'm a little upset at myself that it took me until today to use the dance studio that has been at my disposal since I got here, but on the flip side I have been kicking ass on my site!
So today was pretty fulfilling!
I played my guitar, a little better. And realized I have 13 songs. 2 my dad wrote that I like to play but the rest mine, but one needs to be finished.
My Kristy reminder song came on the radio, so I had a moment of remembrance for her, I still miss her!
I DANCED! Thanks for the facebook cheers btw! - I played around not making much sense of some Will Hoge and then did some go to get inspired Bushwalla, and then I brought out a hip hop song I was asked to help find dancers for and possibly choreograph...well, I laid down some kick-ass sexy zombie hip-hop moves. Btw I tweeked my back in the process! lol
I finished my acting site!!! I just have to buy the domain and keep adding things to it as things come in & new pictures are taken...http://nicoledionneacting.yolasite.com/
I did my actor submissions, and can I just say I really over all those roles going to MODEL TYPES! I'm getting annoyed with That...what about the Meryl's and the Glenn's and Hepburns, etc. Come one Hollywood, get with it!
Revisited 2 Spot Gobi video idea I want to direct, got inspired cause I think I found my actress/dancer for it.
hmmmm...what else?
Oh, took a bath and meditated, attempted to you, but did some visioning.
Watched an episode of Glee
AND...Designed new postcards! They're Radd!
I can't believe it's 3am and I'm not really tired... oh boy...insomnia
I got to see how I should be after a Network Party when I got three messages from people today who I had met, and I realized I hadn't sent anyone anything except thank you's to my friends for coming! haha Shit! Slacker!
Was talking to my roommate about the "clearing exercise" and we tried it and also how weird it is that we were both doing this 30 days to focus on getting work and things done for our career and how, we haven't gotten any jobs or auditions....weird right?! But then I realized, well I do have a job, but it doesn't feel like one! This house sitting is paying me and giving me complete freedom and abilities to get things like my website done! How rad is that?! And since they are coming back early I'll get paid before rent and I'll be able to GOGO this friday and make a little extra yeh!!! And Athena just found out today she booked some BG for a commercial! Yeh for her! And I'd also like to Congrats to my friend's SHANNON for getting an agent, and Rhonda for starting her challenge!!! Proud of my sistas
But back to me! haha
I'm gonna go do some homework, from one of the books I brought with me.
What are you grateful for? If you can't think of three, then you might be taking everything around you for granted....(like a job that doesn't feel like one, like a broken parking meter, like trees that give you clean air, like a smile from a stranger, could be anything)
Love & Sweet dreams,
xo - me
I'm a little upset at myself that it took me until today to use the dance studio that has been at my disposal since I got here, but on the flip side I have been kicking ass on my site!
So today was pretty fulfilling!
I played my guitar, a little better. And realized I have 13 songs. 2 my dad wrote that I like to play but the rest mine, but one needs to be finished.
My Kristy reminder song came on the radio, so I had a moment of remembrance for her, I still miss her!
I DANCED! Thanks for the facebook cheers btw! - I played around not making much sense of some Will Hoge and then did some go to get inspired Bushwalla, and then I brought out a hip hop song I was asked to help find dancers for and possibly choreograph...well, I laid down some kick-ass sexy zombie hip-hop moves. Btw I tweeked my back in the process! lol
I finished my acting site!!! I just have to buy the domain and keep adding things to it as things come in & new pictures are taken...http://nicoledionneacting.yolasite.com/
I did my actor submissions, and can I just say I really over all those roles going to MODEL TYPES! I'm getting annoyed with That...what about the Meryl's and the Glenn's and Hepburns, etc. Come one Hollywood, get with it!
Revisited 2 Spot Gobi video idea I want to direct, got inspired cause I think I found my actress/dancer for it.
hmmmm...what else?
Oh, took a bath and meditated, attempted to you, but did some visioning.
Watched an episode of Glee
AND...Designed new postcards! They're Radd!
I can't believe it's 3am and I'm not really tired... oh boy...insomnia
I got to see how I should be after a Network Party when I got three messages from people today who I had met, and I realized I hadn't sent anyone anything except thank you's to my friends for coming! haha Shit! Slacker!
Was talking to my roommate about the "clearing exercise" and we tried it and also how weird it is that we were both doing this 30 days to focus on getting work and things done for our career and how, we haven't gotten any jobs or auditions....weird right?! But then I realized, well I do have a job, but it doesn't feel like one! This house sitting is paying me and giving me complete freedom and abilities to get things like my website done! How rad is that?! And since they are coming back early I'll get paid before rent and I'll be able to GOGO this friday and make a little extra yeh!!! And Athena just found out today she booked some BG for a commercial! Yeh for her! And I'd also like to Congrats to my friend's SHANNON for getting an agent, and Rhonda for starting her challenge!!! Proud of my sistas
But back to me! haha
I'm gonna go do some homework, from one of the books I brought with me.
What are you grateful for? If you can't think of three, then you might be taking everything around you for granted....(like a job that doesn't feel like one, like a broken parking meter, like trees that give you clean air, like a smile from a stranger, could be anything)
Love & Sweet dreams,
xo - me
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