Wow, so last night at this time....I was a miserable bitch. We can all admit that. Tonight, I'm pleasant, hopeful, and more at peace. Still swimming in darker waters but more accepting of them.
I was just logging on to start my blog when I came across another blog in my feed that shows the TITLE - YOU FUCKING DID IT!...Obviously it caught my eye and attention. As swear words are one of my favorite things, followed by positive encouragement. So I read it, and just as divine intervention would have it, it was words of loving reminders, and hopefully forseeing that I needed to hear. And then I was even more inspired to see all the other people who had commented and who were touched by these words in someway. If you have the time take a gander: http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2010/09/you-fking-did-it.html
If not a bit of my favorite points:
"In the future, everyone is an artist because it is in THESE DAYS that we realize that each of us is a Creator – each of us are Gods and Goddesses making breaking doing learning living loving."
"Money is made up. Let it go. Love is the only thing that is real.
The future is here for us to be amped, to be motivated, to remind each other that each is doing amazing things. Create this world as so and it will transform itself into a place of wonder right before our eyes."
Ahhhhh! Just reading those words give more life force and confirmation that I'm here for a purpose!
To backtrack a bit, this is where I've been the rest of the day. Today was sunny, which helped my mood tremedously. Although another day of not leaving the house which is getting a little scary. And tomorrow I do the complete opposite, I'm getting up at the ass-crack of dawn to work a double duty of clapping like a seal for fish. aka money. Cash, cause it's needed right now. Then I come home have an hour or two before heading off to The Waterfront to dance it out with The Spazmatics. It will be a long one.
What got done today:
I did some prep casting work in hopeful anticipation of getting the job
Booked the jobs for tomorrow
Me and the roomie attempted a few of the workouts on the Px whatever
Played a Game of Yatzee, I know not related but I haven't played since high school with my Cousin so worth mentioning it for me.
Read through Steel Magnolias with the roomie, Splitting the characters in half which got a little muddled along he way. haha but fun.
Oh man, I got to attack the M'Lynn monologue when she's talking about Shelby's death. God, my heart was wrenched out of my chest seeing Sally Field's doing that the first time in the movie. That was one of the first time's I knew I wanted to act. I had such a viseral reaction to reading it out loud tonight, not like I was performing but was so tuned into the emotion and this is just laying down on my couch, holding it back so my roomate doesn't think I'm losing grip on realty. It was trip.
Just picking up the book actually brought a lot back for me, before we even started reading. My doggie's that I had with "the ex" chewed up a corner of it, and I can remember then being so frustrated because I was missing some of the words, and today I was so grateful because it gives me a little piece of them forever that I can hold in my hands, since they are no longer here. Oh, tears. Memories. Good. bad. It's all relative. What new perspective and wisdom can show us about our past eh?
Thank you to my earth and spirt angels for reaching out to me today. I felt loved and supported today when a few friends checked in to make sure I was okay from my last post. It's so good to receive that. Thank you. And my spirit babies Torch & Blue, who I will love forever, and taught me so much, I'm grateful for them poking their heads and wet noses out of this playbook. The world can be so magical when our eyes are open to see what is "really there".
All this rat race of running, and striving, and hustling for "money" cause that what abundance is??? When all I really have to do is look around me and in my past and realize how many breaths I've been lucky enough to have, How many times I have been in love, how many people and animals in my life have loved me unconditionally, how much I have been able to experience and accomplish, how I have had the opportunity to express myself to touch other people, How I have gifts that help other's and I recognize other's who have gifts that help me. And how lucky I am, that I get to do it all again in a NEW way tomorrow. That's Abundance!
That's life right, I fucking did it, and I'm still doing it!!! YOU FUCKING DID IT TOO, but in your own beautiful, magical way, and I high five you!
Love, cause that all there is...
xo-me
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