Ahhhhh, okay I might need another month! haha Actually, this has been pretty perfect, even though it didn't quite have the effect I was hoping and anticipating....yet. However, I know & trust EVERYTHING that has come in & out, is for a reason, and getting me in more alignment with my Purpose! (and cue a big of relief)
But it ain't over yet. I still got a good 24 hours.
I don't really have a list of things to share today. I pretty much spent the whole day organizing THE RANDOM SHIT. It was the first task I took on today cause I have been procrastinating on it, and it took all day, with some breaks. It's still not entirely done, but great progress made.
I got up around 11pm...coffee, emails, chatting with roomie, and then I hit the boxes. A friend came by to pick up a book he lent me. So we went for a walk close by to grab coffee & catch up for an hour or so. I was swimming in a sea of chaos in my living room, with papers, scripts, photos, and old mail spread about the floor. I welcomed the reason to escape it briefly.
Good talk. He's a very good actor & writer. When I shared the webisode idea with him, he turned into a flowing faucet of great ideas. Pouring all kinds of characters out, we could use. I laughed out loud, literally, a few times. So even when I tried to escape being productive, I ended out being productive! I LIKE THAT!
I came back to my boxes again, finding a few old things to reminisce over. Like, playbills, old headshots, and project ideas that were just seeds.
Later, my friend that I worked for yesterday came by to pay me, and we chatted a bit and got talking about Michael Jackson, he was like one of my first idols growing up. First make believe boyfriend for sure when I was five. haha So anyway, I bought up the part in THIS IS IT when he gets messed up over what looks like his ear bud, cause he couldn't hear right. And it looked like he had a little freak out, I thought that his insecurities were coming out. And she said (now I'm paraphrasing) "no he wasn't insecure, he was talking about his "inner ear". He was taught to sing & hear from that, and was surrounded by siblings that did the same, and if you listen to the singers they weren't singing from that place, that's why he wasn't hearing it, and as soon as he said something, that got deeper in their bodies and then they did - even though most of them didnt really know what he meant" - That is brilliant. I love that! The idea no truth of his attunement and awareness. It's beautiful, from her perspective. And here I was been fault finding and judgey. Gosh, thank goodess for mirrors eh?
This has been quite the journey of reflection, let me tell you! Well, I guess I have been. haha I really thought I wasn't a judgemental person. I know I have made HUGE strides, but their are still little seeds of that lingering. And this friend has been good about showing me that, The Cafe Gratitude Workshop showed me a lot when I became conscious of my inner dialoge while "listening", and seeing it when coming across other's who are much more actively judgey then I, and feeling how yucky it is the hear it. It's a relief to find the GOOD, to KNOW that no one is ever lacking. To know that I'm not lacking.
Because this 30 days took a different spin on me, and I didn't attract the things I wanted to attract, I could easily assume there is something wrong with me. But there's isn't. My eyes were open to what this shift was for. And the fact we subconsciously chose retrograde to do it, solidifies it for me. Cause after tomorrow, Mercury comes back direct and in alignment and I have myself in better alignment with myself. So it's pretty perfect!
OH! I almost fogot! Me and the roomie got all dressed up in crazy, fun, risky garmets to submit for a Rocky Horror scene somewhere, for something!
Now why can't I get to sleep before 4am again?
Until tomorrow,
xo-me
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